*Mood depressed
*Music The Brilliant Green - I'm Sorry Baby (album mix)

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It's the last day of AutoCAD course, I got the valuable certificate from SIRIM, I don't have to wake up so damn early (at least for a while), I gained knowledge on conducting AutoCAD software, and I manage to save up some money from the pocket money mom gave me through out the seminar... At the end of the day, I cried... =_= And it *surely* isn't the tears of satisfaction.

*sigh*
I have made a terrible mistake, AGAIN... I have spoken harsh words with my sarcastic uncontrollable evillll mouth, AGAIN... I have hurt the feelings of my dearests, AGAIN... And AGAIN, I feel miserable. p(>,<")q Why am I being so goddamn ignorant and inconsiderate towards the people around me?? Why am I such a selfish, sarcastic and blunt person who only think about themselves and neglecting other peoples' feeling? Why can't i learn from my mistake and never EVER let the past repeat itself again??? Why does it hurt so much eversince I know "you"??









Here..
I am..


BROKEN...



again..






Here's the whole story... If you care to spend some time and read what exactly I wanted to say in text since I have problems expressing myself vocally due to the reason of verbal communication dysfunctionality.

It all started out when I bluntly let out my harsh sarcastic words to you, which make you feel as if I'm looking down on you... As if I'm downgrading you... As if I'm thinking I am sooo much better than you... And to make things worst, it involves a third party. Someone from a higher rank than the both of us. And you feel as if he's looking down on you too when I had spoken those harsh words. It tighthens the whole situation!!
And at the end of the day, you were pissed at me...
And being the typical me, I didn't realize there were something wrong! @w@
Untill you started to walk away from me...
Untill you're not being your loud and crappy self...
Untill you spill out your frustration directly at me.

O_O;

When you told me that I have messed up your mood, when you told me that I have made you feel downgraded, I was just feeling plain sorry... BUT when you told me that I have directly made *ANOTHER* person downgrading you, I felt so useless, I felt soooo misserable, I felt like I am only a pain in the ass for you. *__* I never knew I could go this far. I never knew I could be THE ONE causing you to feel downgraded... I know how you feel about being looked down. You have told me counltess times about your position in your family and the way they think of you (especially your siblings). You have told me about your friends too... The way you feel they are not treating you as a friend but more like a person to spend good times with. I'm soooo sorry!!! +,+ You used to tell me that I make you happy, I make your life meaningful, and that I am your life... And now, I am doing THIS to you.
I'm no different than the people around you...
I'm not treating you as how I should...
You have given SO MUCH to me, and this is what I give backKkK??
How NICE of me to do such a thing to you.. *_*


I should just shut up and stop talking. 'Cause whenever I open my mouth, it only brings you pain and disgust. >"<
I talk without thinking...

I'm so sorry...
I'm so sorry I had to breakdown and cry in front of you like that.. I;m sorry I couldn't be a better person... I'm sorry I hurt you, over and over again.. I'm so sorry for being *me*. Y___Y



















I am broken...
At the end it is always you who ended up mending me back to normal.




Thank you.