I hate that girl. The one who used to be so close to me eversince primary school and the early secondary school. The one who used to take care of me. The one who I used to look up for whenever I don't have the guts to live on. The one who showed me part of the playful wonderful world. I hate her now. And even more. She's being so stupid, and makes me feel even more stupid when I think of the days when I used to place that kind of person as my role model.

you're so stupid, i just wish you'd pluck out your useless malfunction brain and reformat it and reinstall a new version of operating system. Yours have been damaged by viscous silent parasite enraging day by day.
_{I'm talking like a computer freak. =__=;;}

I just sent her a piece of my mind a few couple of minutes ago, in a very cynical and sarcastic way. Guess what? I was really satisfied I did that, and I don't really care what she thinks of me. Tak rugi satu hapak taik hidung pun. (Thx to these past 2 or 3 years with Ariz and my studio-mates. My speech has become more outspoken to no matter who the person is) I wanted to gave her a piece of my mind eversince she left home but I was still "captivated" by the bond we used to have. To me, I placed her high deep in my heart. It's like, everytime I wanted to give her advice or a piece of my mind, it feels like objecting what your tutor is saying. And I doubt she'd even place me in any place in her heart except in the area of envy and angst. It surprises me when she said she was jealous of how I lived with my family. (A normal family, so in her point of view) She always has such a bad view of her parents. Ok. So her dad doesn't work, and her mom just got her penchant. Her source of money have been hard eversince her mom retired, and her dad takes over the money expenditure. Well, SHE for some reason has got to STOP living and showering herself with such a luxurious life all this while. She's supposed to understand the situation of her parents. It's not like her dad doesn't want to gain money. He does takes up a few work regarding computers here and there. Hey, u gotta face the fact that your dad is THE SAME AS U. Very stubborn. He doesn't want to work makan gaji, and so he doesn't work makan gaji. He takes up other ways of finding money, which some of them u have absolutely NO IDEA about it. Have u ever feel thankful that you could EVEN eat and have a place to live...? And to top things up, you have never been satisfied with the luck that you've got from the very beginning.

Yeah, I'm saying you're lucky. Of all the things other people worked so hard to gain, you've got it. And wasted it down the drain... You've got the chance to take up Diploma in Banking at UiTM, Alor Gajah. Some SPM holders just can't get a place in the local Universities which is cheap, and you deliberately decline the offer. Menolak REZEKI! For what reason? For a very STUPID and SELFISH reason saying that Alor Gajah is far away from home and it's hard for you to get expanses. The HELL with your excuses. What's the problem with expanses when you've got FULL pinjaman from PTPTN? They even wanted to give you cash of RM1000 on the spot, regarding how your parents financial conditions are. You just need to register yourself at UiTM, and all the expanses is payed by PTPTN. Sure you've gotta pay em back, with interestsssss, but whutdaheck? Pinjaman is still pinjaman. But if you scored well enough, thhey decrease the amount which u have to pay back. So that's certainly is NOT AN EXCUSE saying that there's expanses problem. You gila witch!

And what's your problem with Alor Gajah? Far away u say..? Hell, you just don't want to seperate with your so called "knight in shining armour" aren't you? and the fact is that you HATED the life of "boarding school". Yeah... typical of you to have always been so frozen-hearted-hard-headed (translate that literally, plz). You think taking up Banking isn't good enough for you. huh? What were you thinking? If it isn't good enough for you, why the HECKKK did u chose that course in your UPU form anyway? damn u biatch! And so you take up Creative Multimedia at MMU a year after, studying at the main campus in Cyberjaya. Ok, it's quite near to KL. You can go to and fro to your hubbeys house. And yet, I still don't understand why the hell do you have to QUIT??? And what's even bodoh bangang, you applied for scholarship/pinjaman/whuetever and your DAD have to pay em back since you didn't finish your studies and he have no idea how to contact you to discuss about the matter. What more do you want? Didn't he bought you a laptop for studies already? Didn't he BORROW money to pay for your EXPENSIVE school fees....?? huh? have you ever think about that? Have you ever think what you have give back to your parents for what they have given you for all this.. what... 19 years and more??? HAH??? HAHH???

Pernah tak ko fikir tentang "DERHAKA".. and what do you get if you're one of those kind? Hurm.. Suddenly, for some reason, I even doubt you'd believe in such thing. Anak Derhaka. Mati masuk neraka. Kene seksa. Sounds childish.. hurm? Hey, just wondering. What religion are you know hah? Living with a guy under the same roof with his family. You think you have that chinese look, you can blend in well with the chinese? I'm not being racist, but it really pisses me off seeing you who've lost your own ROOTS. Sedar diri la sikit, wahai pompuan. You think such a guy will lead you to a happier life? How many times have you felt lost, drifted and living in the dark world. Huh? How many times have you thought about what you want to do for the future and actually obtain it? huh? Have you ever thought that even though you're running away from your family, the family ties has cut off? How foolish of you... Running away from every single problem you've encounter without even facing the fact and the truth. Truth hurts. So.. what? It doesn't mean that you can RUN AWAY all the time. No wonder you're so lost. Lari ntah ke mana hala tanpa arah tuju..

Semua maslah ko nak lari. PKN pun tak habis. Ko lari gak. MMU pun tak habis. Ko lari gak. Tanggungjawab anak kat mak bapak pun tak habis, ko lari gak. Ingat sume bende tu boleh buat ko BAHAGIA ke? Kalau ko still rasa ko dah memang cukup DEWASA dan MATANg nak hidup macam tu, teruskanlah. Hiduplah camtu.. sampai kau reput.

Or you could just go back to your family. and.. let's say, start back at square one. Huh?

owh.. yeah.. ko ingat Fareeda tak? Ko tau kan ko HUTANG die berapa banyak? Ko ingat ade ke manusia nak halalkan hutang sebanyak tu? Tambah lagi kat orang macam ko yang tak pernah nak bersyukur kat ape yg ko ade. Oi giler. Balik la.. Hidup la betul-betul. Tanak sambung belajar, ikut suka hati kau la. Tak sume pun orang yang berjaya kat dunia ni ade degree. Ade PhD. Abis belajar. Ramai je yang tak habis belajar. Tapi sebab ape diorang berjaya? Diorang PANDAI PLAN. Diorang tau hadapi masalah diorang. Diorang tak LARI. Diorang tak pernah kenal erti PUTUS ASA. Kau tau tak? Kau tau tak ape yg ko tgh buat skrg ni? Huh? Nak bukak bisnes? Buat rambut? Teruskan pemalsuan? haa.. eloklah.. teruskanlah......

aku harap ko taubat la sblm terlambat. pi la balik mintak maaf kat mak bapak ko sbelum dorang dah takde kat dunia ni. tolong la ape yang kau mampu kat diorang. mak bapak mana yang senang hati tgk anak die macam kau ni...

stop being so degil.

ko kalo ade masalah, haa.. lari la... lari laa.. sampai patah kaki. elok sangat. teruskan. ko ingat kawan-kawan ko tak risau ke tgk ko camni? ko yg shut diri ko dari dorang. hidup la ko ngan dunia yg ko buat tu. teruskan. ingat dunia ni berputar kat kepala kau. kau la yg kene ikut putaran dunia.
gile..

dah. kalau boleh nak je aku bebel panjang lagi. tapi pikir-pikir ko bukannye baca pun menatang alah ni. hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahha!!

takpe.. janji aku puas hati.
aku mmg jahat. aku tau. hahahahahahahaha!! mulut celupar kan? aku tauuuu.. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahha!!!!!!

at least.. aku tak macam kau. =)