@_@;;

woke up late this morning... 10 o'clock. Supposed to be waking up Arizsan at 7 for his KESAT activity at uni, but heck. ~_~;; Anyway, we're planning to go to sunway today after he finishes his KESAT activity which supposed to end at 10.
I called him.. from 10 untill now............
No answer.........

@w@;;;
apekah....
what happened!!!!!!!!! >,<


goddamit...
I'm worried... ;_;

Tadi kelas BEL250 (English) pertama buat semester ni. Hahahaha!!! Awal sem dulu lecturer takderk. MC sebab baru lepas baik dari operation... Sakit ape ntah dierk. Ader la dalam 3 minggu MC kut. Hmmmm... 2 minggu lepas plak die datang kelas. Tapi waktu tu tengah menyibukkan diri ntuk final submission Design project 01, so kira macam takderk kelas gak ar sebab biler die masuk jer kelas, (which is also our "beloved" workplace called studio) kitorang SEMUA dok potong-potong model board, tampal-tampal model board time kelas dier. Buat dunnow je kat kehadiran dier. Pendek kate semua tengah khusyukkkkk buat model. Kalau die ajaq pun, kitorang macam tak participate. Huhuhuuuu~~ So dua minggu yang sepatutnya ada kelas, jadik takdek kelas. Dia cancelkan! Total up, 5 MINGGU takdek kelas BEL~~~~!!

So lepas 5 minggu, baru la hari ni kelas dijalankan seperti biasa. Yang best nyer, lecturer BEL kitorang ni teramat la rilek saje~~!! Tak kesah pun bebudak nak gi kelas ker... Tak kesah pun kalo tipu signature time attendence. (tak gi kelas, tapi attendance ader) Die kate "You guys are adults, so I will treat you as adults. I'm not going to point guns at your head and force you to come to my class. If you don't feel like coming, then don't come." Maknenye, pepandai sendiri la nak berjaya ek? \(>v<)/
BESTTT~~~!!!
I hate "FORCE" and "RULES".... ~___~;; Nyaahaa~~
Typical Ayez!

Anwyay, biasak ar kalo dah blajaq BEL tuh. Mesti lar citer pasal MUET, SUMMARY WRITING ngan READING & COMPREHENSION. Tadi blajaq summary. Ader la satu article yang die suruh summarise ni... Terdetik plak di hati pasal diri ku inih~

"Depression is said to be one of the most common mental disorder. Depression is, however, far from feeing 'blue' or being sad and in low spirit Depression is said to undermine a patient's quality of life causing one to be unable to cope with life. It produces a number of sypmtoms such as a loss of self confidence leading to a feeling of helplessness and a lack of drive which often results in a loss of interest and enjoyment in life. It also causes a change in appetite, temperament and sleep paterns. In serious cases, people suffering from depression often have suicidal thoughts. "

@w@ *blinks blinks*
I am depressed.......... KYAHAHAHAHHAH!!!
Okay, well.... not serious depression. Takderk la sampai aderk niat nak bunuh diri kejadah haram tuh. Tapi, kebelakangan ni dah hilang minat nak buat sesuatu yang dulu aku suke gila nak buat. Dulu aku suke dan enjoy giler sakan melukis-lukis nih. Sekarang nak angkat pen lukis pun dah tak semangat dah. Biler melukis plak, bukan rasa rilek, rase lagi tensen sebab dah takleh lukis cam dulu lagi. Nak kata artist block, tak jugak... *w* Rasa macam dah hilang selera nak melukis. Aku ni plak jenis melukis cenderung kat style manga jepun anime nih. No offense, tapi rasanyer style ni macam dah sangat tipikal. T__T (ayez cepat bosan!!) Nak lukis style lain plak, jadik buruk.. Last-last berbalik balik kat style lame. Style lame plak, bosan!! Cube punye cube stroke baru, kengkadang jadik. Kengkadang end up dalam tong sampah. 0_o

Kalau dulu, everyday aku boleh produce at least satu sketch yang siap. Maksud siap tu, puas hati la dengan composition, sketch/ink dan worth disimpan dalam folio. Kengkadang siap artwork colour (watercolour ke, pastel ker, pensel ke)... Kalau rajin lagi, artwork ink full composition ngan background skali (slalu ngan background ni jarang la). Walaupun bile tengok balik, bukan la cantik mana. Buruk tu memang la buruk. But at least waktu completion tu, aku rasa puas!! Sekarang.... Mana ader lagi!!! Tak rase ape-ape!! NUMB!! Kengkadang rasa geram dan menyampah lagi aderk arrrr!! GAHHH!!!

Bila tengok kengkawan kat studio tu melukis... Waa~ kagum sebab bile diorang melukis, diorang enjoy. Lukisan tu plak cenderung kat style diorang sendiri. Walaupun tak semua ader style sendiri, dan ader la sikit-sikit unsur-unsur cam komik HongKong or comic Amerika tuh but at least it's consider a RARE thing compared to the over-exposure of anime-manga style. Benda yang jarang kite lihat, menarik minat lebih sikit. (bagi aku la, bagi korang tatau la plak!) =__=;; Bukan nak kate buruk ke ape pasal anime-manga style, I liked it! In fact, sebab anime-manga lar aku start jinak-jinak ngan melukis. Kalo tak, rasenyer sampai sekarang pun nak lukis kucing tak reti. Kekekeke... Cuma sebab dah terlalu over-expose sampai jadik muak... ="=

Pasal event-event anime-manga kat Malaysia ni plak.. CosMas, CF, CTC, ape-ape jer lar, dah tak banyak menarik minat aku dah. Kalo dulu semua event-event ni aku nak gi, nak participate. Kalo bleyh nak jer bawak semua bebudak studio + kengkawan (baik yg otaku dan bukan otaku) pergi join same. Sekarang? Dah malas... Malah terasa amat membazir masa dan wang... o__o;; Terasa cam bodoh pun ader gak kengkadang. ~,~ Tak enjoy dahhhh cam duluuuuuuu!!!!! Kalo dulu enjoy maybe sebab kenal ramai bebudak yang minat same. Pergi pun sebab nak jumpe diorang. Kenal by internet. (Forums, Malaysian Anime Website, DA, etc) Chit chat sembang-sembang tukar-tukar pendapat, maka persahabatan pun terjalin. Yang sedihnya, tak semua tu terjalin sampai sekarang. Good thing sebab internet dan event-event cam ni la aku dapat kenal ngan member-member cam Xan, Lily, Sapphy, Rudz, Shez-neechan, yang memang buat member kamceng sampai sekarang. Boleh share problems, boleh citer bende-bende tak puas hati, boleh inform pasal ape-ape bende yang nak diciterkan. Berpuluh-puluh yang lain tuh?? @w@;; Macam dah takderk jer... Bukan entirely takderk, cume jarang-jarang tegur dah. Bukan salah diorang... Bukan salah sape-sape... Salah aku sendiri la kut, sebab tak maintain persahabatan nih... atau maybe sebab aku rasa sangat inferior (atau superior. HAHA!! KEREK!!) dengan diorang. Maka tak maintain relationship nih... atau maybe sebab masing-masing sibuk dengan real life sendiri? (Or sibuk dengan cyber life lain yang lebih important)
*sigh*
Bosannyer... -__-"

I want a normal life.
But.. life aku sekarang ni tak normal ker? o_O;;
Waaarghhh~~~~hahahahahaha!!

i want to find my self within this confusion. >w<






ape dah jadikkk kat ayezzzzz??????
depress....?? >w< Cume terasa amat bosan dengan hidup camnih.. *sigh*

YAY!!!!

dah setel first submission!!!
Sempat siap!!!! tapi wa terpaksa amik Arizsan jadik sub-con tolong siapkan model skali sebab kalo tak, memang takkan dapat siap!! >w< Wa buat itu kerja aa.. manyak lembab aaa... ufufufufu~~!! Sian Arizsan. Tolong potong-potong board + kasik idea buat model. Wa kerjakan die dari pkul 9pm sampai 6.30am. Lepas tu baru antaq die balik hostel dier. Sedih tuh sedih gak seksa dier camtu.. tapi..... sangaaattttlaaaa bersyukur die sanggup nak tolong. Kalo tak.. wuuuhhhh!!! tatau la aper nak jadik ngan aku nih. haiyaaahhhh... T__T

Anyway, pagi submission tu pkul 11.30 baru lect halau kitorang kuar studio ntuk analyse model dan kasik marks. Kitorang sume dok kat luar studio menunggu dipanggil sekor-sekor kalau-kalau lecturer tu ader kemusykilan or ader ape-ape nak ditegur. Punye la lame menunngu. Group aku, Bang & Olufsen, dianalyse paling laaassssttttt sekali. haiyaaa.. memang dari awal pre-submission (pasal site & artist analysis) ari tu lagi grup kitorang mmg asyik last jerk. apsal ar... >w<

Time grup aku dianalyse, aku dipanggil first skali. Erk.. Lecturer tu cakap interior aku menarik! (thx bebanyak kat arizsan tlg potongkan exhibition stand ngan buat railing) Tapi die tak puas ati facade aku yang dikata cam sesat. wakkkakak!! pastu roof aku dier kater pelik. Uhuhuhuuu~~ mane tak pelik, tak pikir abis-abis camner nak buat roof pun. Main potong jer board. 10 minit siap!! hahahahah!!
lepas kene crit tambahan.. aku dilepaskan. Fuuuhhh~~~~!! not so bad la... i've been thru worst. I expected to get at least a B- for this submission. T___T Ye la... B- pun kire ok.. susah worrrhh lecturer ni nak kasik marks, esp kat POMPUAN!!! >w<

lepas submission, lecturer kasik kitorang balik bilik tido!! YAY!! Kelas petang taderkkk~~ ~Ape lagi~~ lepas gi makan, balik memengsankan diri. Wuhuuuu~~~~~ Tidor pkul 3pm, bangun lik ntuk makan pkul 10pm. wakakakakak!!

Ari ni.. lecturer dah tampalkan results..
guess what?
i got a B+




^^

yattaaa!!! not as bad as I expected!! WOOHOO~~!! Bebudak laki majoriti dapat A. 8 orang camtu dapat A+. A few dapat A-.. dua tige orang dapat B+,B,B-... pompuan plak paling tinggi pun dapat A- jerk. dua orang rasenyer. Haiyaa.. So it's true they say. Architecture is really male dominated. Pompuan susah nak survive. ^^;

tengok attitude lar deyyY~~ hahahaha!!

*alhamdulillah*

tak fail!!! X3

thanx so much kat arizsan sebab sudi membantu ayez si pemalas procrastinator nih. SAYAAANGGGG ARIZZZZ~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!

mwahahahah!! Senin ari tuh barubalik dari Langkawi. Penat bebbbB!!!! Jangan ingat gi trip suke-suke!! Gi trip buat assignment!! Tak sempat sangat nak gi shopping-shopping lepak-lepak tepi pantai, mandi-manda kejadah sume tuh. T__T Sodeyh worrhhh!! Tapi takpe, janji dapat kuar dari studio!! Wahahahahah!!

Sepatutnye bertolak malam 11/8 tapi sebab rules UiTM tak kasik buat trip malam, so ktorang bertolak pagi Jumaat tuh, 12/8. Ape lagi dalam bas, TIDO LAAA~~~!! Dah la sebelum tu tak tido baper hari dah siapkan assignment Design Urban Infill. Nasib baik submission date ditunda dari 11/8 ke 18/8 sebab cuti jerebu. Huhuhuuu~~ kalo tak, mampos!! Tak siapppp!! @w@;; Dalam bas aku duduk sebelah Tina. Memula hampir-hampir kene halau turun bas sebab dah tak muat bas. Trip tu satu bas, satu van. Sape tak muat naik bas, kene naik van. Nasib badan aku hari tu, tetibe si Nandayo yang dok sebelah Tina dihalau turun sebab bebudak yang naik van tu sume laki. So Nandayo sebagai lelaki yang sering dibuli dan dikutuk dan kurang disukai, dihalau oleh bebudak ntuk turun gi naik van dan memberi laluan kat aku si comel naik bas. (DUSH!!) Tak ar.. actually Nandayo kene halau sebab die satu2nye laki yang dok sebelah pompuan waktu tu. (kecualikan ader sepasang couple ni) Tambah lagi dok sebelah Tina, gadis paling montok kat studio kitorang. Huhuhuu~~ Per lagi~~ Balun kene halau turun bas.
Keji giler bebudak studio aku nih......

Perjalanan nak gi Kuala Perlis (nak naik feri before gi Langkawi) lama giler. Ader la dalam pkul 4.45pm baru kitorang sampai... Bertolak dari Shah Alam pkul 8.45 camtu. hurmmm.. ~w~ Bangun tido bangun tido tak sampai-sampai gak. ahahhaa!!

Dalam feri, Jawe mabuk laut.
Wakakakak!! Cam pompuan ngandung aku tgk mamat tuh. kkekeke.... *takbaik gelakkan oranggg~~* Err.. ahahah.. ok...
Tambah-tambah memeningkan naik feri tu, bile orang yg jaga feri tu dok pasang VCD karaoke ELLA. @w@;;;;;; erkkkk~~~~~~~~~
mampus~~ layan je laaaa~~~ 45minit dalam feri layan ELLA je la sume~~~

sampai kat jeti Kuah, 4 bijik van dan satu keter Kia (kut) terpampang menanti kitorang. 4 bijik van tu diamanahkan kat 4 orang driver (bebudak studio aku jadik driver) ntuk dipandu everytime nak gi memana. Aku join van ngan Salam. Kyahahaha!! Aku, Salam ngan Adam! Sekali!! Adik beradik berkulit gelap unite!! >w<
NgehhH~~

Petang tuh, balik bilik, mandi, turun gi dinner. Pastu balik bilik rehat lik. hahahah!! satu hari jer wasted ntuk journey. >w<

The next day. Start lar trip gi buat site analysis. Firstly gi Kampung Buku. Erk.. jangan tanya kat mane.. aku pun x pasti. Tapi site kat situ, site air terjun/sungai. Lepas abis tangkap gamba, sketching, analyzing, ukur tanah, measure pokok dan batu-bata keliling tu ntuk lukis dlm peta, kitorang blah, gi Tanjung Rhu plak. Site pantai. Dan buat kerja yang same.. haiyaa... bosan.. ="= malas nak elaborate. memang bosan!

malam tu, gi makan. penat. balik. tidor.
ye ke.. @w@;; ye la! ahahaha!! luper dah!!

the next day, gi naik cable car plak!! WOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!! KAGUM GILE BEB!!!!!! Best giler view kat atas cable car tu. 800m above sea level. Udara dier, PERGHH~~ jangan cakap laaa~~~ FRESH GILER!! Walaupun jerebu, tapi tak naik sampai ke atas. beshhhh!!!! *inhales fresh air*

Lepas gi cable car, lecturer bawak gi pepusing mane ntah.... Awana resort. Gi tengok architecture style kat sane. Aku tak tgk sangat. Gi merayau kat peer. Main tebing. Usyar ombak. Nyehh~~

Lepas tu ader la dalam 3 jam free kut. Bbudak ni dilepaskan gi shopping. Aku tak shopping sangat. Duit takderk. Beli coklat dua kotak ntuk ariz. dah... uhuhuuu... mishkinnnnn!!! T___T

Malam tu plak, presentation day on site analysis ngan client analysis. Aku group Antonio Citterio. Furniture Designer merangkap architect. Interesting fellar. Simple jerk dierk. huhuuu~~

Esoknyer blah balik shah alam.
erk.. malas nak elaborate pepanjang sebab dah lupe ape jadik actually. kekekeek!!!

wanna view sum snapshotz?
CLICK MEHHHH~~~!!!!

p/s: tak banyak tangkap gambo sgt sebab awal-awal tuh kamera aku cilakak buat hal!! LCD panel dierk x kuar gambor.... shitttooo!!! >w<

Sedih giler... Lepas MESTIKA aku ngan bebudak studio sambung buat model. MESTIKA tu ape?? It's our architecture course punyer kunun-kunun philharmonic orchestra laa.. main angklung. MESTIKA abis pkul lebih kurang pkul 11pm tadi, so terus-terus lepas abis tu kitorang sambung buat model balik. I was really left behind on my scheduled. Model x naik lagi. Still tapak jer... Taktau/takde idea camne nak construct. *sigh* Tengah syok-syok pikir idea sambil potong board tuh, pak guard datang halau kitorang balik. T___T Supposedly kitorang bleyh buat kije kat studio sampai pkul 10pm je. Paling lambat pun pkul 11pm la. first-first pak guard datang, tegur cam biasa je. Pastu die blah. Second time datang die halau kitorang keluar sampai sekor pun x der lagi dalam studio.

WARGHHHH!!!!!! Nak buat kerja kat studiooooO!!!! Balik bilik comfirm progress lembab gile... wuhhhhh.... T__T

Lepas kene halau tu, aku ngan Tini tumpang keter Tina nak balik kat hostel. Elok-elok sampai depan gate hostel, pak guard hostel plak tahan sebab balik lambat... Balik lepas pkul 11pm. >w< SHOT!!! Kene la plak tulis nama ngan nombor matriks kat "senarai pelajar-pelajar suke balik lambat". >w< Haiyayayaaa... Sial gile ar ari nih. Okay.. memang x leh ar nak salahkan pak guard tuh. Die buat kerja die.. memang tanggungjawab dier. Tapi.. dulu takde pun ketat gile camni!! Dulu still boleh tolerate lagi kalau ape-ape hal pun. @w@;; Apsal semester ni mengada giler ketat kawalan pakguardddd?? GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Yesterday okay jer.. pakguard takde plak datang halau... aku balik bilik pkul 4:30 camtu... Tapi gate dah kunci. Ehehe.. So terpaksa panjat pagar nak balik bilik. =) Best wor panjat pagar!! wahahaha!!

Ermm...
lepas dah kene halau ngan pakguard, lepas dah tulis nama kat kertas, naik la bilik dengan mengusung saki-baki model board nak sambung bwat kijer kat bilik. Sampai-sampai bilik jer, dua ekor roomate aku dok buat muka sedih+kecewa+derita... ape masalah tatau ar. >w< ARGHHH!! Lagi buat orang takdek mood nak buat kerjaaaaaa!!!!! =_____=;;

Urghhh!!
Biarkan! Biarkan! Tahan!! Tahan!! Kerja still kene buat... diorang hal diorang. Kerja aku, kerja aku. Diorang taknak buat kerja diorang takpe... Aku tau aku ni jenis buat kerja lambat dan suka procrastinate, so baik start awal. o___o;;
YOSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Sedih... T___T
Ari ni sangat suram...
aura suram...
apsal ar?
Jerebu kut...

The past few weeks had been quite stressful for me. My design is not up to the lecturer's expectations, I'm starting to feel lethargic, I tend to get sleepy early, and I felt Ariz was somehow neglecting me. The part about neglectment may be due to my abnormal sensitive feelings, or maybe coz he's really just too occupied with his studies... I dunno.. I just missed him. Eventhough we're studying in the same campus and both of us are staying in the university's hostel, (not the same hostel, but we're staying INSIDE the campus area) I still hardly get to see and talk to him.
*sigh*
During the first week, after his orientation week, it was okay. We went to see people playing basketball together in the afternoon, and at night if we weren't having dinner together, we'd have a stroll around Dataran Cendikia inside campus. But that was before... back when both of us were not so occupied with our work.

So I told him how I felt about me stressing out on him, and him neglecting me, and about my studies problem. Thus, he lectured + adviced me to become more independant and stronger. Stop relying on others, stop depending on people too much when doing my own work. o_o; I was very relieved to get him to lecture me. Well, at least I know he still cares... *w* The sad thing was, he said that he had told me the same thing over and over again whenever I came to him and tell him about my problems. The same old problem!! Thus, the same old lecture.. The same old advice...
>w<
He told me he has his limits on this...
He told me I should change... for my own good!
He told me that A LOT of times before...
and I'm still the same old rebellious me.
o__o;;

Anyway, that was yesterday's story.

Today, is our 19th month anniversary.
We plan to go out for lunch together. I was kinda excited coz I could get to see him again. v(^u^) But sadly, his faculty had arranged a compulsory activity for his course today which is held straight from morning till afternoon. >w< Was I pissed off? No... Somehow I can see that coming. =_=;; I told him if we still have time, we'd do dinner tonight but I wasn't putting up any high hopes on it. And so, I went on to do my work at the studio (submission is drawing SO NEAR!!!) while he continued with the activity.
*sigh*

That afternoon while I was working with my model at the studio, Anis ID asked me to join her and Salam to Kelana Jaya to buy model boards and Balsa Wood since the price there is really cheap. I was kinda stuck on my design progress, so lantak la~ pergi je la!! I thought I could get an idea of how to proceed with model making. Time nak gi sane, si Anis ni punye la celaka bagi direction cam ayam cakap ngan angsa. Si Salam sebagai driver tak paham what Anis was trying to say, Anis plak bagi direction berbelit-belit. The trip was supposed to take us around 30minutes but ended up about 50minutes. ="= Sabar je la minah ni...

Petang tu waktu nak balik, lalu highway. A motorcyclist somehow came from the left which made Salam turned right suddenly. Unfortunately, there was this speeding Waja car coming from the right and he almost hit Salam's car. Good thing he (the Waja driver) managed to brake on time. But the driver looked really pissed off. I looked back and saw the driver's angry face pointing hs finger at our direction.. He was a young chinese guy.. rupa cam samseng. >w< He turned right and cut bypass Salam and showed a hand gesture asking Salam to stop by to the left. WTF?? Nak carik gadoh?? @w@... Salam didn't care about the guy and quickly speed off. He too speed as fast as he could and from inside the car he opened the window and showed a long red-metal-looking thing (i assume it was the gear lock thing). Worhh!! chuakkk bebbb!!!! @w@;; CHUAK GILE!!! Samseng carik gadoh kat tengah-tengah highway!! >w<

Ape lagi!! Salam drive laju selaju-lajunye bagaikan nak roboh keter die yg mmg dah pokak gile tuh. Speed punye speed, depan tu dah tol. erk.. kalo berenti kat sini mati. Nasib baik Fuad ade dalam keter waktu tu, so he lend Salam his Touch'n'Go and lepas tuh "VRRROOOOOOMMMMM". Speed off tinggalkan mamat keter waja yang tak dinampak lagi. *fu-haaaa*

chuak!! @w@;;; erkkk...

sampai balik kat Shah Alam, around 6 pm. ="= Lame gile kuar. Model x buat lagi nih. *sigh*Elok-elok turun kereta nak balik hostel, my dearest Arizsan call~~!! Die baru habis aktiviti die. Ajak gi makan!! XD Yayyy!!! malam ni jadik gak nak gi celebrate anniversary sesama!! Ape lagi~~ keluar laa! mwahahahahah!!

We didn't went to any place grand coz it's about 7pm when we reached section 2 by UiTM Campus bus. So gerak gi makan gerai section 2. Makan Tom Yam~~~!! X3 Anywhere is fine to dine as long as it's with Arizsan. Serius, waktu tu mmg x kesah pun gi makan memana asalkan dapat makan ngan Ariz. Gerai buruk tepi jalan pun gerai buruk laaa~! Before this I was really picky on deciding places to eat for our anniversary.. Sekarang lantak!!! ^^;

After dinner, gi kedai-kedai kat section 2 beli barang sat. Lepas tu lalu depan kedai gunting rambut. >v< Nyehehehehe!! I asked Ariz to cut his hair coz on our very first date (7th January, which is also the day we declared each other as couples) he cut his hair. So.. tatau la apsal. Tapi potong rambu tu dah macam significant ngan 7hb. X3
I asked the barber to cut his hair short so he could spike up his hair. Nyaaaa~~~~!! Comel gile muka die lepas dah potong rambut!! kemas~~ smart!! wooootttt!!! suka usap kepala die~~ nyaaahahaha!!

Dunnow why, but seriously bahagia gila malam tuh. ;p He was nice like before, and I tried my best to treat him right. ^^ A t the end of the day, it's a win-win situation. Yayyy~~!!

Luv you my dearest!!

Owh, by the way...
Today got PC Fair at KLCC. @w@;; waktu nak naik UiTM balik lepas makan tu, nampak sekor-sekor minah/mamat usung printer la, scanner la, laptop la.. haiyaaa... shezneechan ajak gi... WuhhHhHhHhhHH!!! If it wasn't for Design submission, I'm as free as a bird to go there!! T____T

goh-menn-nehh-neee-chaaannn!!

I had a sleepless night today trying to finalise my design for my Urban Infill Project. The sad thing was, when I had my crit sessionwith Encik Wanzul, he seems to reject my design. XD He said that my design has too much space, too much function, everything is too much. T___T *sob* I'm beginning to think I'm not very creative in doing architecture.
.__.
He reorganized my spacial arrangements and simplifies my design. Okay.. This means I have to reconstruct everything and re-reconsider my circulation and... arghhh!!!! >w< Final submission is this Thursday. @w@;; I just have a very bad feeling about this.

By the way, I got a very sadistic "C" for my interim crit last Monday. Yah..

And our class trip to Langkawi will be this Thursday, the nigh of our final submission. Pengsan la gua malam tu dalam basssssss~~~!! Tidooo~~ huhuuu!!

after a bland conversation with him,i felt numb...
i felt abandoned.. i felt.. @w@;; Goddammitwhydoeshehavetobesobusywithhisstudies????!!!!

="=
i have classes too. infact, my credit hour is more than him. everyday i have classes from 8.30 to 5pm. And I'd stayed back inthe studios untill late night around 12am and latest is by 4am... although i don't do that everyday, but... still... i think my daily study life is quite as hectic as he is. okay.. so he's the class representative, he needs to see lecturers and call ppl and photostate this and that, he needs to regularly go down to section 2 to go and do his class rep chores. he needs to go and see people to collect money for this and that, yeah, it's tiring... okay.. so i have to understand his situation. if i were to be him, surely i'd be tired.

but i dunno... these past few weeks, i felt quite abandoned. no more "ayez, jum kuar makan" or "ayez, jum tgk bebudak main basketball" or anything.... no.. not recently. i was really hoping he'd asked me out. sometimes when i asked him out, he's really just too busy. that's why i wait at night.. around 9pm. when i think that it's his leisure time.

leisure time
i guess leisure time for him is not to spend time together.

GOD!!!
i felt too attached to him!!! >w<

ayez!! give him some space to breathe!!!

and i should breathe more too............ *fuu-haaa* @w@

T___T
i can't help crying....... shit!!

this is stupid...
i feel weak!!